Communicating With Children
Topics: Family
Children and teens are impacted by the PSP lifestyle and can experience a range of emotions related to a parent/guardian’s PSP work. Being willing to discuss their perspective, feelings, and questions lets them know that you will be there to listen and provide support when needed.
References for this page (click to expand)
Arruda-Colli, M., Weaver, M. S., & Wiener, L. (2017). Communication about dying, death, and bereavement: A systematic review of children’s literature. Journal of Palliative Medicine, 20(5), 548–559. https://doi.org/10.1089/jpm.2016.0494 ;
Carrico, C. P. (2012). A look inside firefighter families: A qualitative study. ProQuest Dissertations Publishing.
Cox, M., Norris, D., Cramm, H., Richmond, R., & Anderson, G. S. (2022). Public safety personnel family resilience: a narrative review. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 19(9), 5224. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph19095224 ;
Gurwitch, R. (2021). How to talk to children about difficult news. American Psychological Association. Retrieved December 10, 2022, from https://www.apa.org/topics/journalism-facts/talking-children
Kolucki, B., & Lemish, D. (2011). Communication with children: Principles and practices to nurture, inspire, excite, educate and heal. UNICEF. Retrieved December 10, 2022, from https://www.comminit.com/global/content/communicating-children-principles-and-practices-nurture-inspire-excite-educate-and-heal
Traub, S. (2016). Communicating effectively with children. University of Missouri Extension. Retrieved December 10, 2022, from https://extension.missouri.edu/media/wysiwyg/Extensiondata/Pub/pdf/hesguide/humanrel/gh6123.pdf
Walker, J. R., & McGrath, P. (2013). Coaching for confidence workbook. Anxiety Disorders Association of Manitoba.
Wasik, B. A., & Hindman, A. H. (2013). Realizing the promise of open-ended questions. The Reading Teacher, 67(4), 302-311. https://doi.org/10.1002/trtr.1218
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Supporting Wellbeing
Topics: Family
If you’re thinking: “I don’t have time for this!!” Please keep reading.
Maintaining physical and mental health is one way that PSP family members can support their own wellbeing. SSOs have reported using self-care strategies to manage stress.1 However, there can be barriers to practicing self-care. Some SSOs have shared that they do not have the time for self-care and that being told that they should do it feels like an added burden.
Finding small moments to focus on your own needs, in a way that fits your lifestyle, that does not feel like an extra responsibility, is one way to incorporate practices that support wellbeing.
References for this page (click to expand)
1Friese, K. M. (2020). Cuffed together: A study on how law enforcement work impacts the officer’s spouse. International Journal of Police Science & Management, 22(4), 407–418. https://doi.org/10.1177/1461355720962527
Field, T. (2011). Yoga clinical research review. Complementary Therapies in Clinical Practice, 17(1), 1-8. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ctcp.2010.09.007
Gál, É., Ștefan, S., & Cristea, I. A. (2021). The efficacy of mindfulness meditation apps in enhancing users’ well-being and mental health related outcomes: A meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. Journal of Affective Disorders, 279, 131-142. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2020.09.134
Hamasaki, H. (2020). Effects of diaphragmatic breathing on health: A narrative review. Medicines, 7(10), 65. https://doi.org/10.3390/medicines7100065
Huberty, J. L., Green, J., Puzia, M. E., Larkey, L., Laird, B., Vranceanu, A.-M., Vlisides-Henry, R., & Irwin, M. R. (2021). Testing a mindfulness meditation mobile app for the treatment of sleep-related symptoms in adults with sleep disturbance: A randomized controlled trial. PLOS ONE, 16(1), e0244717. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0244717
Kemper, K. J., & Danhauer, S. C. (2005). Music as therapy. Southern Medical Journal, 98(3), 282–288. https://doi.org/10.1097/01.SMJ.0000154773.11986.39
Mayer, F. S., McPherson Frantz, C., Bruehlman-Senecal, E., & Dolliver, K. (2009). Why is nature beneficial?: The role of connectedness to nature. Environment and Behavior, 41(5), 607-643. https://doi.org/10.1177/0013916508319745
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Flexible Planning
Topics: Family
Skill building:
PSP families can experience difficulties related to the unpredictability of work schedules. Families may be expected to change and adapt their plans at a moment’s notice. This can be challenging and can lead to flexibility fatigue. It can be helpful to make plans that allow for flexibility to respond to change and minimize disruptions.
Things to consider…
- Prioritizing communication and planning.
- Developing a back-up plan if the PSP family member is called into work or will be late.
- Talking to children about PSP work schedules and how the family makes adjustments.
- Going ahead with plans without the PSP (they might be able to join later).
- Finding ways to include the absent PSP (text or video chat, videos, pictures, etc.).
- Using problem-solving skills to help develop flexible plans.
Shiftwork
- Are there any perks to shiftwork for you and your family?
- Think about the advantages of rotating shifts.
- Which shifts are favourites and why?
- Which shifts are more challenging?
- What can you do to make them easier?
Flexibility
- PSP couples and families often become better at adapting their plans over time.
- Think about times when your plans changed unexpectedly, and you and your family handled the change well. How did you manage this?
- It can be helpful to consider not only what has gone wrong but what you are getting right.
Skill building:
References for this page (click to expand)
Neustaedter, C., Brush, A., & Greenberg, S. (2009). The calendar is crucial: Coordination and awareness through the family calendar. ACM Transactions on Computer-Human Interaction, 16(1), 1–48. https://doi.org/10.1145/1502800.1502806
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Adopting a Family-First Philosophy
Topics: Family
When family members take time to be together whether it is part of a daily routine, planned activities, or just hanging out, they feel valued and connected. Sometimes, particularly in busy households, PSP families need to recalibrate and think about what is important. Focusing on family values and adopting a family-first philosophy can help families stay on track.
How do you let your family know that they are a top priority?
Things to consider…
- Having a family conversation about the nature of the PSP family member’s work, why the job sometimes takes precedence over family time, and the various feelings that might result.
- Making sure family members who are not able to attend activities are not left out (e.g., videotaping a school play so the family can replay it later).
- Leaving notes or texts to let each other know you are thinking about each other when you can’t be together.
- Telling family members that they are the most important people in your life (sometimes we neglect to say the words that express how we feel).
Skill building:
References for this page (click to expand)
Carrington, J. L. (2006). Elements of and strategies for maintaining a police marriage: The lived perspectives of Royal Canadian Mounted Police officers and their spouses. ProQuest Dissertations Publishing. https://central.bac-lac.gc.ca/.itemid=NR18860&op=pdf&app=Library&is_thesis=1&oclc_number=289058279
Witman, J. P., & Munson, W. W. (1992). Leisure Awareness & Action: A Program to Enhance Family Effectiveness. Journal of physical education, recreation & dance,63(8), 41-43. https://doi.org/10.1080/07303084.1992.10609949
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Managing Public Perceptions and Social Media
Topics: Family
PSP families know that the public can be misinformed about the role and actions of PSP. However, opinions and news coverage can still be disturbing. There can be public distrust of PSP in positions of authority. In some cases, stereotypes of PSP sleeping through their shifts or hanging out at the coffee shop are also an issue. Inaccurate or exaggerated comments and images on social media can cause worry and upset. Opinions of neighbours and friends can be unfair and isolate PSP families. PSP families can also find themselves in the spotlight when incidents occur. Public safety organizations can help educate the public, but families cannot control public perceptions.
Things to consider…
- Limiting exposure to social media.
- Monitoring children’s use of social media and TV.
- Talking to children and teens about comments from peers regarding PSP.
- Seeking mutual support with other PSP families when incidents are reported.
- Proactively working on positive education and awareness social media campaigns with other PSP families.
Skill building:
Negative messages from the community and social media can be hurtful. Both adults and children in PSP families can be targeted. When this happens, open communication can reduce the negative effects. Families who share core values may be less impacted by misinformation. For example, a family who values “gratitude” can focus on the positive feedback they get from their community rather than negative messages. A shared commitment and understanding can help take the sting out of public criticism.
References for this page (click to expand)
Carrico, C. P. (2012). A look inside firefighter families: A qualitative study. ProQuest Dissertations Publishing. https://digscholarship.unco.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1088&context=dissertations
Walsh, F. (2016). Strengthening family resilience (3rd ed.). The Guilford Press.
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Household Tasks
Topics: Family
Open communication about expectations and responsibilities within the household is important. The division of labour needs to be understood and renegotiated periodically, especially when there are changes to family members’ schedules.
Things to consider…
- Having a family discussion about the division of household responsibilities.
- Working as a team to get things done.
- Asking children to contribute to the household (in an age-appropriate way).
- Outsourcing household tasks (e.g., house cleaning, lawn care).
Skill building:
References for this page (click to expand)
Goldsmith, B. (2012, September 5). 10 tips for holding a family meeting: Hold the best meeting you’ll ever attend with the people you love the most. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/emotional-fitness/201209/10-tips-holding-family-meeting
Gottman, J.M. & Silver, N. (2015). The seven principles for making a marriage work. Harmony Books.
Petriglieri, J. (2019). Couples that work: How dual-career couples can thrive in love and work. Harvard Business Review Press.
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Navigating the Childcare Scramble
Topics: Family
PSP work schedules can be unpredictable, which can create many challenges for childcare. Thinking ahead, being flexible, and having a back-up plan for childcare can reduce stress for PSP families. Children need reassurance that someone will always be there for them. Families can provide this by coordinating schedules and dividing childcare responsibilities. Having alternative childcare plans is necessary when work schedules are unpredictable.
Things to consider…
- Talking with your partner about the people you currently rely on for childcare.
- Making a list of other people who could help and how you might best approach them.
- Learning about childcare options in the community (e.g., daycare, after school programs).
- Connecting with other PSP families who face similar challenges.
Skill building:
References for this page (click to expand)
Carillo, D., Harknett, K., Logan, A., Luhr, S., & Schneider, D. Instability of work and care: How work schedules shape child-care arrangements for parents working in the service sector. Social Service Review, 91(3), 422-455. https://doi.org/10.1086/693750
Lero, D. S., Prentice, S., Friendly, M., Richardson, B., & Fraser, L. (2019). Non-standard work and childcare in Canada: A challenge for parents, policy makers, and childcare provision. Childcare Resource and Research Unit and University of Guelph. https://childcarecanada.org/publications/other-publications/21/06/non-standard-work-and-child-care-canada-challenge-parents
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Supporting the Transitions to and From Work
Topics: Family
Transitions or changes are associated with movements to, from, and within the home throughout the day. Common transitions for couples/families include leaving for work or coming home, mealtimes, and getting ready for bed. The shift from one place or role to another can be stressful and it can be helpful to learn effective ways to manage transitions. For PSP families, the transitions from work to home and home to work can be especially challenging due to the nature of PSP work. Shift changes and absences require adjustments in roles and routines.
Skill Building:
References for this page (click to expand)
Carleton, R. N., Afifi, T., Taillieu, T., Turner, S., Mason, J., Ricciardelli, R., McCreary, D., Vaughan, A., Anderson, G. S., Krakauer, R., Donnelly, E. A., Camp II, R., Groll, D., Cramm, H., MacPhee, R., & Griffiths, C. (2020). Assessing the relative impact of diverse stressors among public safety personnel. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(4), 1234. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph17041234
McElheran, M., & Stelnicki, A. M. (2021). Functional disconnection and reconnection: An alternative strategy to stoicism in public safety personnel. European Journal of Psychotraumatology, 12(1). https://doi.org/10.1080/20008198.2020.1869399
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Planning Ahead for “What-Ifs”: Illness, Injury, or Death
Topics: Family
Planning allows you to explore the “what-ifs” and sort out the details ahead of time. Everyone benefits when there is a plan, particularly PSP families who deal with both risk and uncertainty. Knowing what to do builds self-confidence and can reduce negative impacts. Planning and being prepared reassures couples and families that they will be able manage the consequences of illness/injury/death should it occur.
Things to consider…
- Finding out what kind of coverage PSP family members have from the organization and personal insurance (e.g., disability benefits, critical illness benefits, death benefits).
- Discussing who would provide care if the PSP were injured on the job.
- Thinking about the changes that might be needed to manage childcare and household tasks.
- Seeking consultation from a lawyer or other professionals for additional information and help with planning.
- Having a discussion about who handles payments, banking, and other household accounts.
- Knowing how to access these accounts if one partner has to suddenly take over all of the finances.
Skill building:
References for this page (click to expand)
Financial Consumer Agency of Canada. (2017, April 28). 11.4 Estate planning. https://www.canada.ca/en/financial-consumer-agency/services/financial-toolkit/financial-planning/financial-planning-4.html
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Extending Your Support System
Topics: Family
Social support is important to health and wellbeing. When it comes to building a support system, there are different types of support. This could include emotional support (e.g., affection, understanding, comfort) or practical support (e.g., information/advice, financial aid, household help). Support can come from friends, family, neighbours, professional services, or community programs. It is often best to have a balance of these supports.
Skill Building:
References for this page (click to expand)
Mancini, J., Bowen, G., & Martin, J. (2005). Community social organization: A conceptual linchpin in examining families in the context of communities. Family Relations, 54(5), 570-582. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2005.00342.x
Walsh, F. (2003). Family resilience: A framework for clinical practice. Family Process, 42(1), 1-18. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1545-5300.2003.00001.x
Youngcourt, S. S., & Huffman, A. H. (2005). Family-friendly policies in the police: Implications for work-family conflict. Applied Psychology in Criminal Justice, 1(2), 138-162.