Gratitude and Positive Reframing
Topics: Couples
Research has found that gratitude is related to various benefits including psychological wellbeing and positive social relationships. Gratitude can also prompt the use of positive reframing, which means viewing a problem or negative experience in a new, more positive way. Taking time to be grateful does not mean you become overly positive and ignore problems that may exist. It is really about trying to ensure attention is given to things that are going well – even when stress or problems may be present.
Note: It is not recommended that this strategy be used for trauma without the guidance of a qualified mental health professional.
Things to consider…
- Expressing gratitude to a family member or friend.
- Thinking of opportunities instead of hassles when reflecting on an event or situation.
- Answering the following questions:
- What can I learn from this experience?
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Is this situation allowing me to gain new knowledge or practice a new skill?
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Could this be an opportunity to strengthen a relationship?1
skill building:
Gratitude Journal
For the next four weeks, you and your partner commit to taking a few moments each day to write what you are grateful for in a journal or notebook. If possible, try to set a particular time each day (e.g., before you go to bed) to help make this exercise part of your routine. When writing about gratitude, consider:
- People in your life that you are grateful for
- Things you are grateful for that you take for granted
- Experiences that bring about feelings of gratitude
After four weeks, reflect on your experience. Has it been helpful? Sharing your gratitude journal with your partner and other family members can also be beneficial. You may want to create a couple or family gratitude journal so you can check-in, express appreciation, and inspire each other with positive thoughts.
References for this page (click to expand)
1Lambert, L. M., Graham, S. M., & Stillman, T. F. (2009). A changed perspective: How gratitude can affect sense of coherence through positive reframing. Journal of Positive Psychology, 4(6): 461–470). https://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1080/17439760903157182
2Algoe, S. B., Haidt, J., & Gable, S. L. (2008). Beyond reciprocity: Gratitude and relationships in everyday life. Emotion, 8(3), 425–429. https://doi.org/10.1037/1528-3542.8.3.425
Lambert, N. M., Fincham, F. D., & Stillman, T. F. (2012). Gratitude and depressive symptoms: The role of positive reframing and positive emotion. Cognition & Emotion, 26(4), 615-633. https://doi.org/10.1080/02699931.2011.595393
Wood, A. M., Froh, J. J., & Geraghty, A. W. A. (2010). Gratitude and well-being: A review and theoretical integration. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 890–905. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2010.03.005