Problem Solving Together

Exploring Problems and Solutions Together

When we are looking at problems, we don’t always get it right. Quick fixes don’t always address the bigger issues. For instance, cleaning up pee stains on the carpet won’t help if you don’t house train your pet. It can be helpful for couples to reflect on their current challenges, understand each other’s perspective, and explore possible solutions together.

Aliyah and Wong are a PSP couple that is experiencing some significant but not uncommon challenges. As you watch their story, think about some of the issues that they are facing and reflect on the questions at the end.

Date night planning

Planning date nights can be challenging, particularly for PSP couples with nonstandard schedules. The upside is that it can be a great way to practice problem-solving skills and also enjoy some couple time!

To give it a try, make a commitment together to plan a date night (or date morning/afternoon) at least once a week for the next month. The dates do not have to be big outings – at-home dates count too –  so start with plans that are easier for you to make work. To begin, try the following:

• Designate a time when you can plan the dates together
• Have your calendars/schedules handy
• As you begin to plan, make note of any problems that arise (e.g., conflicting schedules, childcare, fatigue, finances, etc.)
• Focus on one problem at a time and work through the problem-solving steps together

After you have successfully negotiated your weekly date, take time to reflect on your experience problem solving together:

• What did you find helpful?
• What challenges came up when working through this process?
• What did you learn?

After one month, how did you do? You may want to continue scheduling date nights or come up with other ways to spend quality time together. Taking opportunities to practice problem solving as a couple is a way to improve these skills and strengthen your relationship.